Takin Back My Love
by SonyaShulen
Summary: Does being a best friend mean, I can't fall in love with him? Does being a best friend mean, we can't be together forever? Does being a best friend mean, we can't stay with each other? It's hard to leave, but I have to. ONESHOT
1. Part 1 : Takin Back My Love

**Taking Back My Love**

Disclaimer : I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Being in love was never easy. This is my story and it's not a very happy one. Both of us, grew up together and was always together no matter what. Nineteen years together! We could be mistaken by people saying, childhood sweethearts. But, we were never together. We were only best friends. I had many guys after me and he had many girls chasing after him. Both of us are tired of being hoarded, so we decided to pretend to be couples. Pretend...not real.

Natsume told me he had a crush on a girl in our class, Luna. She was, well...really beautiful. She won for the prettiest girl in the academy last year. It wasn't odd for Natsume to be after a girl like that. He was indeed the academy's heartthrob. Who doesn't want to be with him? I should be counted as lucky that I can even be close to him. One of the very few people that knew about our real relationship as best friends was only known by two persons. Hotaru and Ruka because they were our best friends.

I told Hotaru that I think I fell in love with Natsume. She said she would ask me to check. I didn't want her to, but it seems that she wouldn't listen!

"Hey Hyuuga, do you love Mikan?" she just asked out of the blue in the cafeteria.

"No! I thought among all people, you should know that. She's just my best friend," he said and showed a disgusted face.

To make sure no one was awkward of the situation, I tried to cheer the mood up even though I was deeply hurt by his answer.

"Yeah! Hotaru! Don't ask stupid questions," I said and laughed. I wanted to burst out crying, but I couldn't. Natsume would be suspicious.

Saying that was also, hurtful. What was wrong with loving me? I guess his feelings for Luna was deeper and he couldn't feel anyone else falling in love with him, including his best friend. That day, when he sent me home, my tears started to spill. He asked me what happened, I just told him that my tears were happy tears but he didn't want to believe it. He comforted me, and when he did that, it made it worse. It made me feel like, I was just his little sister! Which was probably how he felt about me. He patted my back and soothe me. I shrugged from his touch and told him I was simply tired. I got out of his car and went into my house and into my room.

When we were younger, his touch never meant anything. We were always playing together and nothing hurt. Why do I have to fall in love with my best friend!? I couldn't stand being his friend only. I wanted to be something more to him. Was it very greedy of me? To be loved by my best friend?

"Dear?" my mom was outside my room and knocking my door.

"Yes, mom?" I asked her. Making sure my voice didn't have the trace of sobs.

"I got a permanent job at Canada. So I was wondering whether, you would be fine to move there?" she asked me. Perfect timing! I needed something to bring me away from Natsume.

"Sure. When?" I asked.

"In three days. I already packed mostly of our stuff. The only things left are the stuff in your room," my mom concluded.

"That's pretty quick. I'll pack them tomorrow. I'll take a day off school," I told my mom.

"Okay dear. Go and meet your friends and spend some time with them. They would feel sad to have you leaving them, especially Natsume. You both had been best friends since you were babies," she told me.

I knew that. I nodded to my mom and she went out. I started packing the small details. The next day, since I took a day off, I packed my clothes and my soft toys. I opened a box full of photo albums of my baby pictures with my family and some were me and my friends. I even had pictures with Natsume, only the both of us. I thought maybe I would pay him a visit, after all my mom wanted me to spend some time with him as well.

I took my car key and the photographs then drove to his house. It wasn't the first time visiting his house, but it never failed to astonished me on how huge his house was! The maids opened the door for me and greeted me with formality. I was always happy to come to his house. I smiled and went to the living room and saw Natsume with a girl beside him. It was none other than Luna, the girl he had a crush on. My smile faded and a sting hurt my chest.

"Mikan?" he asked as if he was confused I was here.

"Hi Natsume, you two together?" I asked, putting bravery into my tone.

"Heh.. I just asked her whether I could court her today. Why are you here?" he asked me and kissed Luna lightly on the lips. Just a slight peck and I nearly fell on my knees to cry! I looked away.

I was, his first kiss, according to him even though I don't remember much of it. It was during the school prom dance in elementary. It was brief, but it was still my first kiss.

"I..." I had never been good in lying. But I have to because of him. "My mom told me to drop some stuff for Mrs Hyuuga, that's all," I lied with a straight face and I prayed hard that he didn't see through me.

"Oh. Well, I'll thank for my mom's behalf. Want to join us? Oh yea, why didn't you attend school today?" he asked me.

"No. I'm pretty busy that's why," which wasn't a lie because I was packing my stuff.

"I see. Alright then. Next time," he said. If there's ever a next time, then maybe but I doubt there'll be.

I went out of his house and drove off. My vision blurred thanks to my tears. I stopped my car at the side of the road and turned on my signal so people will know that I'm stopping here. I put my head on the steering wheel and cried. I was hurt, my chest was aching to come out. It wanted to burst out! I was afraid. I was tired. I'm leaving tomorrow. I took the photographs of me and Natsume and stared at it. I was hugging Natsume. What caused us, to be like that? Why did I fall in love?

I put the photographs on the seat again, wiped my eyes and continued driving. When I reached home, I took the photographs with me and turn off the engine for my car and went up to my room. I placed the photographs on my table and continued packing. Before going to sleep, I took my mobile phone and dialed Hotaru's number.

"Hotaru?" I asked.

"What do you want calling me this late?"

"I just wanted to tell you, I'm leaving for Canada...tomorrow,"

"And you're only telling me this now!?" she sounded angry.

"I'm sorry for telling you only now. That's all I wanted to say, I want to tell Ruka now," I told her and hung up.

I dialed Ruka's number and told him the exact same thing I told Hotaru. I didn't want to talk much, trying to resist the breaking up moments with my best friends. After ending the call with Ruka, I put my face on my knees and thought back on how all four of us became friends. It was..funny, you can say. All of us became friends in an odd way. But I was happy to have friends like them.

I lied down on my pillow and closed my eyes. Wishing for the next day, was painful this time round. I didn't want tomorrow to come yet. But when I thought of the moment when Natsume and Luna was together, and when their lips met, it stung me and tears came out. I erased that thought from my mind and chanted myself to sleep. And so much to my own horror, I did sleep.

The next morning, I woke up at five in the morning. The flight was at nine. I got up and changed to my clothes for the aeroplane. I looked at the photographs at my desk and put it into my hand bag. The taxi came at six thirty sharp and my mom and I board it. In the airport, I went to the bathroom and remembered the photographs in my bag. The sting returned. I bit my lip and chucked it back in. I went to the store and bought a box of matches. I lit up the matches and burned the pictures. I was crying when I did so. To my utter shock, I heard my name being called by him. He saw me burning something. I didn't know what to do. I just threw the pictures and matches to the nearest trash can. I ran with all my might back to my mother.

At the exact time, the announcer announced the terminal gate for passengers going to Canada is open. I ran to my mother and told her to hurry up and go. She looked at me with a confused look but followed me either wise. I looked to my back and didn't see him. He probably lost me. I rushed into the terminal gate and sat at the lounge. So much for trying to avoid him. Through the window, I saw him looking around like a lost cat. Don't feel soft, I told myself. He was holding the pictures that I wanted to burn. Part of it was burnt off. I didn't want to see him any more. I wanted to erase all the trace of memories we had together. After all, this was merely a friendship. I can always make new friends in Canada.

"Passengers for flight C84D153, Japan to Canada, please board the aeroplane now," the announcer said.

Me and my mother showed our air ticket and went into the aeroplane. I took one last glance at the back, and didn't see him any more.

'_Please be happy, everyone,_' I said in my mind.

When the plane took off, I felt as if I forgotten something. Even though I didn't. I left my friends and the person I love. I..I felt empty and I wanted him by my side. Reminiscence doesn't help. I love him. I really do.

* * *

This was a dream. I got weird dreams lately, even motorcycle accidents dream.

Anyway, I'm planning to write Natsume's POV as well, because my friends that had read this, are wondering how did Natsume know that Mikan's leaving even though she didn't tell him and they also want to know how he felt when she left and about the photographs.

Whoever that wants me to write Natsume's POV, please do tell me. I'll write his POV if I receive minimum of 7 reviews regarding wanting his POV to be written.

© Copyrighted by SonyaShulen. Plot is by SonyaShulen, Gakuen Alice by Higuchi Tachibana.


	2. Part 2 : Takin Back My Love

Taking Back My Love (Natsume's POV)

Disclaimer : I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

Who am I?

My name's Natsume and I am torn between love. Love - something that could easily kill me by just a snap of a finger. True, she's my girlfriend – out of pretense. She's _pretending_ to be my girlfriend because if she doesn't, I would have been stepped on several other girls and stuff around those lines. I shuddered at that thought.

I stared at her lithe figure, walking across the classroom with her brunette hair swaying with each step she took forward.

I stared only at her throughout classes. She was always so happy, well at least, until the day I told her I had a crush on Luna. It was meant to make her jealous but all she gave me was a loud laugh and told me to break a leg.

I scratched my head and placed my head down onto the desk.

When did we meet? That's a pretty tough question for me because as far as I remember, I had met her since we were toddlers. I knew her since we started sucking our little pacifiers and was really spoilt by our parents.

I was about to doze off when a shadow blocked out my source of light. I groaned and looked up at the intruder. I stared at the stranger for a split second then put my head down again onto my desk.

"Wake up, lazy!" she practically yelled into my ears that I had to push her away and rubbed my ears. Man! Her voice is so shrill! She stumbled a few steps from my push and balanced herself as she placed both hands onto her waist.

"I have only a pair of ears and I really don't like to make one of it deaf, Mikan!" I told her loudly as I continued rubbing my ear. She grinned at me and came closer to my face. She could have made me blush if I wasn't so used to her presence. I mean, true enough – we've known each other for so long and it would be so embarrassing if I suddenly turn red, right in front of her!

"You're forever lazy. I've never seen you do anything in class other than sleep, ditch classes and flirt. Come on! You have to break yourself from that lazy attitude of yours!" she said and at that time, I wanted to tell her proudly and out loud that she sounds exactly like my mother.

"As long I do my assignments and homework and submit them on time, sleeping and ditching classes doesn't really matter, does it?" I countered back at her and she gave me a cute scowl. Oh, how I wish I could pinch her cheeks and propose to her on how cute she really is. Ugh! What the hell am I thinking about? She's making my head twist and turn and – whatever it is, it's not healthy.

"Your disciplines in classes are important too. Anyway, let's quit it about_ your_ laziness. I'm going to have lunch with Hotaru and Ruka. Want to join us or would you rather spend your _lazy_ time under the tree and miss the first few hours of class afterwards?" she continued as she walked around the desk and took a seat to sit beside me.

"Whatever," I sighed out and got out a random text book from my desk to distract myself.

"That isn't an answer," she pressed on and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, yes. I'll have lunch with you guys," I finally said and she gave me _the_ smile. The smile of satisfaction played on her lips – the smile whenever she's satisfied with an answer from any of her _friends_. A friend? Is that what she finds me as? Just a _friend _out of so many that she already has.

She said her goodbyes and strode off somewhere unknown. I slanted against my seat and sighed. The memories we shared since we were toddlers were playing in my head repeatedly. The times when we were close to each other; the time before I felt this tinge of electricity that passes through me whenever we touch. I was wondering whether she felt that too.

It was when the bell rang that broke me out from my houghts – my reverie. I looked at my watch; 12.35pm, it stated. I got up my seat and started walking towards the cafeteria to have my so-call '_lunch_' with Mikan and _our_ friends.

We talked casually – at least _they_ did. I was basically only giving the 'hm' and 'yea' to pretty much all the questions they asked me. It was only when Imai suddenly asked me a question that caught me off guard. Both Ruka and Mikan just stared at me. Mikan looked as though she really wanted to know the answer but – damn it! – It's embarrassing!

"Hey Hyuuga, do you love Mikan?" Imai asked me out of the blue. I gave her a bland stare and quickly snapped at her when I saw a grin forming on her face.

"No! I thought among all people you should know that! She's just my best friend," I said and gave her a disgusted look. I might have said that, but honestly; a part of me wanted to ask her on how exactly did she see through me? How did she know that I had some feelings for Mikan? Screw Imai – damn it!

I looked at Mikan's face and saw that it was crossed with several different emotions. She looked down onto her lap and her expression showed a mixture of hurt and pain. She bit her lip and snicker a laugh. She looked back up and laughed even harder. It was obvious that she was just trying to enlighten the tensed atmosphere.

"Yea, Hotaru! Don't ask stupid questions," she said and laughed even harder that she sounded as though she was about to break into tears.

When the bell rang signifying that lunch break was over, I tried walking towards her. I wanted to ask about her condition. I felt guilty! She seemed to be avoiding me, though. When I managed to get close to her, she would squeeze in between the crowd just to get away from me. Was she really affected by my words? I thought I was just a _friend_. Throughout classes, Mikan didn't come towards my table after every lesson – like how she used to.

It was when I made it to the front of her table and asked her, "Do you want a ride home, with me?" she stared at me and nodded her head. We walked towards the 'Students Car Park' and drove back to her house in silence. She always talked to me about her day and stuff; but now- she's as silent as though someone had just died! The suspense was killing me and I wanted to ask; what was wrong with her! I turned my head towards her and saw tears streaming down her cheeks – her nose read and her fist clenched tightly. I felt uncomfortable and horrible. I left her alone to cry and continued to drive down the street until we reached the road of her house.

I looked back at her and saw some tear marks left on her cheeks. "What happened? Why are you crying?" I asked her. I didn't expect a truthful answer from her but I had to sound as though I _did_ care! Honestly, I do! But I was never the type to show compassion and care. It would be so odd that I suddenly asked this question towards my _best friend_.

She shook her head and looked at me, and then she gave me a smile, "I'm fine. I'm crying of joy for having such good friends. I was just thinking back about the past on how all four of us became best friends," she said and got ready to get out of the car. Before she left the car, I placed my hand onto her head and patted her hair.

She gave me a shock and disbelief expression. She gave an expression that showed me that she was terrified – she looked as though she was about to cry, once again. She instantly shrugged away from my touch and mumbled something incoherent. I knew it was something about, '…tired'. She quickly opened the car door and ran straight into her house without even giving me a good bye wave.

On the next day, she didn't appear in class. She usually came to class earlier than I do. In fact, I was always the latecomer and she was always the first-comer. She rarely got sick but if she does, her sickness would be really bad that she had to stay in bed for the entire day. I really hoped that she was feeling alright. I got to my seat and the day started. It was pretty silent without Mikan; the other two – Imai and Ruka – skipped school for the sake of going for a date somewhere rather far away. So that only left me on a huge empty table.

I bought a bottle of Coke and sat on an empty chair. Luna came into view and gave me that _seductive_ smile. She sat on the seat opposite me and started to chat. I had never chatted with Luna before but I knew from _small talks_ that she had more than twenty boyfriends. I dismissed that thought and focused on the question she was about to ask me.

"Natsu-kun. I was just wondering…" she paused and _blushed_, "…whether we could go out together? You know, like a couple?" she asked and giggled.

Natsu-kun? Since when was she allowed to call me that? I sighed and ignored that fact. Instead, I thought about her question – pretty new, huh?

For girls like her, the first answer from me would usually be a complete 'NO'. But what stopped me this time? Why did I hesitate to tell her no? The answer was simple. I had to get Luna to be my _girlfriend_ to actually see whether Mikan gets jealous. I smirked at the girl in front of me.

"Why not?" I said and I swear I saw her eyes scrolling into the money-sign symbol. I somehow regretted saying that somehow. She started blabbing about her life – which was probably made up. The last statement she said nearly made me puke.

"Could I come to your place and tell you more about me and my life?" she asked and smiled. The look she gave me looked as though she had two horns on her head and two tongues slithering out of her lips.

Saying no, would be a disaster to the plan; but saying yes, would mean I have to stand another few hours with her in _my_ house! So much to my own horror, I found myself saying "Yea, sure. I'll drive." Hyuuga Natsume – you are so whipped.

When the day ended, Luna was already standing beside my car chatting with her other _girl_ friends. I rolled my eyes and went straight into my car on the driver's seat.

"Oh, I have to go. I'll tell you all about it next Monday," she said to one of the girl.

"Don't forget to buy some protection," the girl said and giggled.

Ugh! They have such green minds. Luna hopped into the car and I revved the engine to life and started driving back to my place. When we arrived at my place, I just showed her the living room and sat on the couch with her. She smiled at me and I raised an eyebrow, "So, what about you do you want to talk about this time?"

"Oh, nothing much; it's your turn to talk about yourself," she said proudly when I heard the main door being opened. I heard the cheerful Mikan responding to each greeting she got from the maids as she made her way towards the living room. I really wanted to see her expression when she sees Luna here. I pretended to be comfortable around Luna just to look at how awkward she would feel.

She entered the living room with a smile which quickly faded into a disappointed look. She saw both Luna and I sitting comfortably on the couch and broke her stare from us and towards the walls. I took the initiative to start the talking first.

"Mikan?" I asked in a confused manner.

She opened her mouth and closed it again. This time, she brought her eyes back to me and answered cheerfully, "Hi Natsume, you two together?" Though she sounded cheerful, she had the slight hint of hurt hidden in her voice.

"Heh.. I just asked her whether I could court her today," I _lied _– no way I would do that! I looked at her again when a question flew by my head. I quickly asked, "Why are you here?"

Luna looked bored and impatient. She fiddled with a strand of a thread hanging lose from my uniform. Twisting and entwisting the thread around her thumb. Mikan was lost for words and at the exact time she snapped her head back at me, Luna brought her lips to the level of mine and kissed me. Fuck! What is the problem with this girl?

I broke the kiss quickly and looked back at Mikan. She was looking down; onto the floor. It was obvious on what she was thinking then – it was all written on her face. Her shoulders were shaking and her lips were quivering. She took in a long breath and stared at me again.

""I...," she started then paused in an instant. Her figure was trembling. Her shaking lips looked as though she was looking for something else to say to replace her earlier words. "My mom told me to drop some stuff for Mrs Hyuuga, that's all," she finished her line. I knew her for years and I should know very well whether she's lying or not. Mikan was never taught to lie and thus, whatever lies she tries to speak, people can just look through her. She was too open – she was too easy to read.

I knew she felt uncomfortable with Luna here. I didn't want to press about her lie today. Instead, I just played along with her lie.

"Oh. Well, I'll thank you for my mom's behalf," I said. A moment of silence went through us. I suddenly asked her something which I regretted horribly, "Want to join us? Oh yea - Why didn't you attend school today?"

"No!" she replied almost in an instant. I just stood there – ignoring the small pouts Luna was giving me – and listened to her. She saw the expression marked on my face and quickly shook her head. "I'm pretty busy that's why," she just ended. I was confused on the statement she gave me. Was it that, she's in pain when she saw Luna with me? Or was the answer of hers meant for the latter question? I decided to just forget about it.

"I see. Alright then. Next time," I said. She didn't say anything and the next thing I knew, she was running towards the exit of my house and I heard her car leaving my house steps. I clenched my fist when I knew enough that I had hurt her badly.

"Get out," I told Luna and stood up from the couch. She gave me a confused look and all I did was glare. She seemed to have understood my statment and quickly scrambled off the couch and out from my house.

I needed time to think straight. I dragged my feet towards my room and stared at the plain white ceiling. Why was Mikan acting that way towards me?

I was too drowned in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that I've fallen asleep with my uniform on. It was when Ruka called me at seven in the morning. I was lazily touching every part of my wardrobe until I found something shaped like my phone. I brought it near my ear but he had already hung up. I cursed under my breath. I opened my eyes wider and looked at the play screen of my phone.

**21 Miss Calls** and **12 New Messages**.

Those were all from Ruka Nogi. He must had been trying his very best to actually call me up the entire night until morning. I was about to read the messages he sent when my phone started to ring again and this time, I answered it before he could hang up.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" I practically yelled through the phone.

"I stayed up the entire night trying to get through. I should be the one complaining, Natsu! I have to tell you something important," he finally said and he sounded pretty tired.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and said, "What is it?"

"Mikan's leaving in an hour or two. Aren't you going to bid her farewell or something?" he told me and I was shocked. She was _leaving_? How hard I hoped that Ruka was actually joking. She never said anything about her leaving - yesterday when she came… But what if, that _is_ the real reason of her lie yesterday.

"..sume? Hey, Natsume!?" I suddenly heard Ruka's call through the phone.

"Oh, what?"I suddenly blanked out and I could hear Ruka sighing at the other side of the line.

"Aren't you going to bid goodbye to your best friend?" he asked again and at that time, I knew what exactly that I needed to do. I quickly hung up the call without saying another word to Ruka and got my car keys. None of my family members were awake yet and this would be the best time for me to take my leave. I sprinted towards my car and pressed the gas pedal with much force. I needed to reach the airport now and fast! I prayed hard that I wouldn't get into an accident. I needed to see Mikan!

Why did she lie? Why didn't she just tell me the truth? I clenched my fingers harder onto the steering wheel. When I reached the airport, I just parked my car at an illegal spot. I just had to deal with the guards later about it; but for now, my main priority is to find Mikan and talk to her; as well as stop her from leaving and tell her the truth about my feelings.

I read through the departure board directly front of me after entering the airport when I noticed that I didn't even know where she was heading to. Calling Ruka again would be a total waste of time. Instead, I chose to be the stupid one and ran through the entire airport. I was at the males and females toilet when I stopped to catch my breath and looked at the time: 8.42a.m., it stated.

I was about to go for a run again when I saw someone exactly like her; burning something, which looks exactly like what I would call – photographs. She had a box of matches in one hand and she was burning the photographs on the other.

"Mikan!" I shouted and I saw her snapping her gaze at me. She had tears all over her face and she looked at me as though I was some kind of…monster. She quickly threw the box of matches into the trash can and left the photographs to burn on the cigarettes ashtray.

I ran after her and stopped my tracks when I saw exactly what she was trying to burn – our photographs. The photographs were the pictures of the both of us when we were much younger, when we spent nearly all our time being together. I took the photographs and quickly stopped the fire from spreading any further. I continued running after her after that.

But…I couldn't find her. I was lost in this big building once again.

"Passengers for flight C84D153, Japan to Canada, please board the airplane now," the announcer announced but I ignored it anyway. I continued walking and walking – hoping to find any trace of her.

I walked and walked with the photographs in my hand. I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 11.05a.m. I knew it was too late; she would had already left. I leaned my back against a nearby wall and held my head in my palms. I wanted cry…I wanted to cry for being so stupid. I brought the photographs to the front of my eyes and looked at it.

There was only one reason she was doing this. She felt the same thing as how I felt for her. I was stupid enough to bring Luna back with me yesterday. She was painfully hurt and the scene and Luna trying her luck by kissing me just caused the situation to be much worse.

I slide down onto the floor. I placed my face onto my knees and before I even knew it, I started sobbing. I wanted her with me. I wanted her alluring strawberry scent around me. I want to tell Mikan Sakura that I _love_ her.


	3. Author's Note

To everybody whom reviewed my story "Takin' Back My Love", I would love to thank you guys for all the support given.

Just to inform all the readers, I had re-read and tried to change as many mistakes as I could in Part 2. Might all of you wish to read that chapter again?

**And**;

I noticed that most among all of you hope that I would continue writing this story as a multi-chaptered story. For those who wants/doesn't want me to continue the story, please place your poll in my profile. I would continue writing depending on the amount of votes that supports me to continue writing this fic.

Please be prepared for slow updates, though, if I do happen to continue writing this story.

Thank you again!

` SonyaShulen.


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